Grocery Shopping and Some More Pics...

My life is slowly getting back into its normal rhythm after being in Sydney. I haven't been in the studio yet as I had to catch up on some chores. Today was market day. Although grocery shopping can be a drag the sites and smells of the market always inspires me. It brings out the hunter gatherer instincts. I recently acquired a stack of food magazines. I loved so many of the recipes that I decided to cook a new recipe every day next week. This made shopping a whole lot more interesting as I had to source the different ingredients. A lot of them from the Asian Grocery Store. Now the only problem is deciding what to cook first. I don't mind cooking for special occasions but I don't like cooking the everyday meals so this should make it a whole lot more interesting.

As you can see there are more shots from the Sydney trip. The good thing is you don't need to look. This means I don't have to feel like that boring person that forces their boring holiday snaps on you.

Touching the Sydney Opera House (yes those big white arches are all tiles).

The view from the steps of the opera house.

My girls with the Sydney Harbour Bridge in the background.

Me and Z.

One of the ferries in Sydney Harbour. A great way to get around Sydney.

Own Bed

Why is it waking up in your own bed makes your holiday seem like a distant memory??? Its back to the mundane today as the washing needs to be done and the linen changed on the bed etc etc. Bob and Jack are happy I am back and of course I am happy to be home but there is part of me that still needs more adventure. More new sites to see, more new sounds to listen to and scents to smell but the kitty is a bit low :(. I would have thought having a week in Sydney would have satisfied me for a while but I think its made me more restless. Overseas lands are calling me ..... can you hear it??? Its back to business now though. I need to become a well known artist so I sell lots of paintings for lots of money and then I can travel.

My girls and I had a wonderful time in Sydney. Its so big compared to Adelaide. The CBD is just walls and walls of very tall buildings leaving no view of any distance.

The Sydney Opera house is a marvel but its Sydney Harbour Bridge that stole my heart.

Well when someone removes some of the letters from the word 'passengers' they are asking for a pic like this hehehe.

Over the next few posts I will post more pics from our Sydney trip .....

Sydney

WOW!!!!!!! Home tomorrow :(

Off to Sydney

I'm off to Sydney on Thursday with my girls. We are so excited. Its such an adventure. Apart from driving through a suburb of Sydney in rush hour a few years back I haven't been there since the 70's. To get up close and personal to Sydney Opera House and the Sydney Harbour Bridge will be fantastic. Hope to get some good pics. I am also meeting a friend I have only spoken to on the internet. From what I understand she lives about 2 hours drive from Sydney. We are meeting face to face for the first time as she happens to be going to Sydney while I'm there. I'm so excited!!! Two more sleeps. Won't be flying home till the following Wednesday.

Hip Hip Hurray

I have had to work through a few things lately and haven't been my usual happy self. I have been whiny and self doubting and in the doldrums. With recent events I just felt, regardless of my hard work, I had taken a step backwards. I had set my goals and was checking them off the list. However being an optimist I never factored in that things might go wrong and that I would find myself taking a slight detour. Things, I might add, that were out of my control. Anyway, you all will be glad to hear that I think I have stopped sulking now and seem to be back on track. I am fairly certain that the whining is over.

I had a wonderfully productive time in the studio today. A new portrait is under way. I am new to portraiture and still trying to find out what works and what doesn't. I recently painted a portrait of granddaughter Zoe which I called 'Lineage-Zoe aged 8'. That got me to thinking that I could paint more of the 'lineage' by painting a portrait of daughter Julia, my mother Rosemarie and squeeze in another selfy. That would complete the four generations of the female lineage that are still alive. Its a huge undertaking for me and fills me with lots of wonderful fear. I have started on the portrait of Julia choosing to paint in the highlights and the shadows on an already strong coloured background. The picture below is what I have done so far. Not much to see yet but I am happy with the start I've made. Like I said, its an experiment and only time will tell if its going to work or not. What is important that I am excited about my artwork again and love spending time in the studio even though its cold in there as its a particularly cold and dreary winter.

ONE WITHIN

Support

Thank you all for your supportive comments. They mean a lot to me and put a smile on my face. It is a big step for me to enter my work into competitions. They are some of the biggest art competitions in Australia with prize money in the thousands, some even in the hundreds of thousands. There are always so many entries and only 30 places so I am sure there will be a lot more rejections in store for me. Its like buying a lottery ticket. I just have to keep telling myself to "toughen up princess". My portrait of Zoe should be in Sydney by now as I entered it into the Moran Prize. Entries close today. This is the riches portrait prize in the world. $150,000 first prize!!!!! I have to listen to what Laura said and remember how far I have come. I have made huge strides since August 2007 when I joined the online Artist's Way Journey and started putting my work out there. And without trying to sound full of myself I am proud of what I have accomplished.

I am still struggling with my painting. I feel I am at a turning point. You know those times when your work shifts slightly and you make new discoveries. Paintings are slow in coming at the moment. I am not as productive as I have been in the past. I feel a little lost and floating if that makes sense. I don't seem to be content painting mundane inanimate objects any more. They have been my passion for such a long time I feel reluctant to let them go. Whenever I try to paint them I come to a standstill and can't seem to get moving again. They seem to lack something and I can't resolve whatever it is they lack. I need a big dose of inspiration. Maybe I need the sun to come back. Its a cold winter with dreary weather.

Another Rejection

This morning I woke with that excited feeling as there was still hope of being a finalist of one of the art competitions I entered. But alas this afternoon the rejection letter came. A nice letter but still a rejection. I try to be strong but I still question whether or not I'm on the right track. Agh, this is hard. There is no manual to follow. I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep blundering along in the dark. Now where did I put that next entry form........

What's in a Name???

Today I entered the richest portrait prize in the world. How did I ever get brave enough to do that??? Is it really courage that helped me to enter or is it purely out of need??? How do you 'make a name' for yourself in the art industry? In order to have good sales of your work you need to have 'a name'. In order to get that illusive 'name' you need to have good sales. How??? What do I need to do??? I work hard at developing my artistic skills and I also work hard at building my confidence but is there anything else I should be doing? Just turning up at the easel doesn't seem to cut it. Small steps, one day at a time, faith, positive thoughts, confidence. All of these are good advice and I have followed them. Now what???

Listening

Well things have quietened down on the home front. Things have started to filter through and he is listening to advise. Walking has been started although I still need to remind on a daily basis. He is happy to try eating regular small healthy meals and snacks. He thought changing his lifestyle meant that it would be worse. He has seen reason and understands that it means changing for the better. That he will actually feel better and have more energy and that when you feel better your whole outlook changes for the better. Yay, a happier healthy life is on the horizon. Thank you all for your support and for listening to my rantings.

I'm Angry

I'm angry and I am going to vent. I am going to rant and rave and pretend I am yelling at the top of my voice. Consider this your warning. Stop reading now if you would rather have a cheery post to read.

If you went to a doctor's appointment, in fact a specialist not just a GP, and that doctor told you to change your lifestyle or you would be dead before you reach 65, wouldn't you immediately take stock and change what you are doing? Especially since you will be turning 60 next year??? Or would you moan and complain that the doctors aren't doing anything for you while you sit on the couch and reach for a beer? I mean for heaven's sake, you haven't got an incurable disease! You have the power to change and be healthy and watch your grandchildren grow up. You need to exercise regularly!!!!!!!!!! You know, get sweaty and get your heart rate up. A brisk walk, a swim, something!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spend some time on the exercise bike while you watch tv. Eat regular healthy meals, say no to a second helping. Simple little changes and you will live longer. HOW HARD IS THAT????????????? WHAT THE HELL IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT??? JUST DO IT!!!!

Good News

I rang the gallery last week and spoke with the director's assistant and made a time to pick up my unsold artwork. That was today. I not only got all my unsold work back but I also got a cheque. The squeaky wheel does get the most oil after all. The cheque was for less than I believe it should have been as I was charged for the cost of the second exhibition when I was told I was getting that free of charge. Not much I can do about that. I choose to look on the whole experience as a positive one as I have learned so much. Not only the things I need to look out for but the things that I expect from such a business arrangement. These are the things that will be going into my contract and anyone who wants to represent me will need to sign on my dotted line. I also gained a lot of confidence within myself. Confidence that I deserve to be treated with respect and that I deserve to be paid just like anyone else gets paid for their work. I do still have a bit of anger in me. I put my heart and soul into my work. My paintings are my story, my voice, and that in itself makes them sacred. For someone to come along and soil them, by not respecting me, has made me angry. The unsold paintings are stacked in my studio but they have lost some of their shine. They don't feel the same any more. They are soiled. This will change in time. I am just saying how I feel. I know it sounds a bit dramatic but hey, I'm an artist. Artists are a bit dramatic aren't they? Anyway today feels like I have slain a dragon. I have slain dragons before for my children. This is the first time I have slain one for myself.

Lineage

I finished the portrait of Zoe and I'm happy with it. Of course there are areas where it could have been better but I'm new at this and am trying not to be too hard on myself. It actually looks like her and I have learnt a lot. Hopefully I will continue to learn as I embark on the art of portraiture. Its something I find incredibly difficult and I lack confidence. Hopefully this too will change. I put my heart into it and basically you can't ask for more than that, can you?

Lineage - Zoe aged 8

mixed media on canvas

91.4x121.8cm (36"x48")

Something that really bothers me is that you can't see the size of a painting on a computer screen. The size is part of it and it adds another dimension of meaning. So I added a pic with a silly goose grinning over the top of the painting to give you an idea of the scale. The silly goose is quite pleased that the painting covers many of her protruding and saggy bits hehehe.

Now with this work out of the way I am in the planning stages of another work. A trip to the library saw me with an armful of books that I am looking forward to flicking through. I bought a new canvas in preparation and decided on the same size as 'Lineage'. Recently I have recovered from my fetish of painting shoes so it only seems natural that I am now planning a painting (or maybe more) involving dresses. At this stage I am thinking of a 1950's dress built up with layers of stained and altered papers. I think it would be funny to have the dress on a coat hanger and make the hanger look like its hanging from the top of the canvas but we shall see. Oh did you hear that??? There it is again ...... my studio is calling me, bye for now

The Power of Art Day

Its Thursday and a much needed art day is ahead of me. I have been working on a portrait of Zoe for a portraiture art prize I plan to enter. The portrait does not need to be of anyone famous but it must show the relationship between the sitter and the artist. You get to write a little blurb about the relationship to go with the painting. I am calling the painting 'Lineage' as it not only speaks about my special relationship with Zoe but that with my grandmother. The background is made of layers of old family letters. Among them precious letters from my grandmother. I also have some text from old children's books. Zoe is looking down at her cupped upturned hands where she is holding a pansy. Pansies were my grandmother's favourite flowers and she grew them in her window boxes. She pressed me one and sent it to me. I still have it. Zoe is looking lovingly down at the flower as she listens to the stories I tell her of family that came before her. You see she understands the special relationship I had with my grandmother because she now has that same specialness with hers. Anyway I'm getting misty now. I only have the face left to do and a few little touches here and there. Fear! The painting is on the large side, measuring 91x122cm (36"x48") and if all goes well today I should finish it. Do you want to see it??? But its not finished. Oh alright, here it is.

Well what do you think??? Am I on the right track??? Hope I can do justice to that sweet face.

Another painting I have been working on is 'The Diner'. 1950's style diner table and chairs. This one is 101.6x152.4cm (40'x60'). The background has old diner menus. It too is not finished. It needs something. It looks so cold and clinical and as yet I haven't been able to resolve it. There are things I am happy with like the reflection on the chair seats etc. but overall it needs something. It still needs to have some difference between the wall and the floor and some little human element. Maybe a spilled milkshake dripping onto the floor. Any suggestions. I really hope I can fix it as I don't want to paint over it. It already has another unresolved painting underneath. I sometimes have these cursed canvases that have several paintings painted on them before I am happy.

So yesterday I 'spilled my guts' and today I am showing you my work in progress 'warts and all'. See the lion is awakening and is gaining strength!

Lost My Way.

I thought I would take a leaf out of Elena's book and 'spill my guts'. I tend to hide away when I have some issues to work through but in reality it would be better just to talk about them right here. After all I have so many supportive virtual friends. Most of you know my story to date. I started experimenting with painting/collage in 2005 and went ahead in leaps and bounds after going on The Artist's Way Journey with a group of like minded artists. Now I have come to a point where I don't know where to turn. My path isn't clear any more. Its all dark and foggy. Of course one thing is clear, I need to continue to paint. I just don't know where I'm going. The Artist's Way helped me to work out that I don't want to do the selling part of my art. It gave me the courage to approach a commercial gallery and I found one who was willing to represent an artist without 'a name'. Exhibitions prevailed and sales were quite good. This was the right path for me I thought and I started looking further afield for other galleries who might represent me in other states. Time went on ..... no payment from gallery. More time went by ..... nothing. Am I not entitled to fair pay for my work??? Its now been 7 months since the first exhibition ended and over 3 months since the second exhibition closed and still no money. Plus the gallery has a whole body of unsold work of mine. I have emailed, I have phoned and I have sent an invoice but am not getting anywhere. I went with a commercial gallery so I wouldn't have to deal with things like this. I am owed quite a few thousand dollars and am disillusioned with the whole thing. I am now too scared to approach other galleries further afield in case the same thing occurs. There is this dark cloud hanging over me and an awful gnawing feeling in my stomach. I'm an artist, not a fighter and just want to crawl under a dark rock. On a positive note I have learnt a lot from this experience. Some wonderful people have given me advice and in hindsight I should have sort some advice before signing on the dotted line. A kind friend has advised that I should always have my own contract for the galleries to sign and has even given me examples of contracts to alter for my needs. My art comes from deep inside me. Its part of my soul, part of who I am that I put onto canvas to share. That someone can take that and not respect me has really hurt my inner artist child. Yes I know I'm sounding dramatic but I'm really a sensitive soul on the inside and these things wound me deeply. Anyway all this has clouded my path and I'm not sure where I am headed. My goals seem to be unclear now. Its hard to move forward one step at a time when you don't know which way is forward. There I've said it!

School Holidays

My painting is nearly finished YAY! Art day has come around already. I can't believe its been a week since I posted. Time flies.

Its school holidays and Zoe is staying with us for a few days. She hogs the computer! I don't mind. She is learning to knit and doing rather well at it. Last night we sat in bed with the tv on with our knitting. A pair of old grandmas hehehe.

Well I'd better get on with the day.

Its Thursday

Its Thursday and you know what that means ... ART DAY! A whole blissful day lost in the studio away from the outside world. Wonder what will happen to the canvas today. I have decided to paint over the painting on the large 60"x40" canvas. I just can't get it to a place that I'm happy with. You have that sometimes. It just won't work so another painting will go over the top. I have this idea for 1950's diner table and chairs. I aim to use old diner menus in my background along with my usual layers of stampings and washes. Red chairs and a chrome and laminate table. Well, as Laura would say "I'd better bust a move" and get out in the studio. If you don't hear from me don't worry. I am safe. I would just be floating in the studio somewhere. Come and join me if you want. I will warn you though. Art is addictive!

Had a Break. How Are You? What's New With You???

I think this is the longest time I've been away from my blog. I don't really have an excuse. Maybe I just haven't had anything to say. Ha, that will be the day.

Well firstly the news. Those of you on Facebook already know. Bob and I have another grandchild. Oliver William was born on 3rd March weighing 10lb 12ozs and that was two weeks early. He was 56.5cm long (22 and a half inches). His brother Evan (aged 3 years) did not want to know about him at first as he had wanted a sister that he had already named Ruby. He was told that he could have a brother but he was adamant the baby was a sister. He is used to it now and loves his little baby Oliver.

Oliver

big cousin Zoe proudly holding baby Oliver at Evan's birthday party

big brother Evan at his third birthday party, grr

I have been in the studio and I have been very busy even though I haven't got a lot to show you. I am still working on my huge canvas (60"x40"). Its basically finished but I feel the painting hasn't got the 'it' factor. You know that special something. I keep working on it, adding another layer trying to get something I'm happy with. Some paintings fall into place really easily and some don't I suppose.

Another painting I have been working on is one I hope to enter in one of the major art prizes. I am really excited about this one. It was one of those paintings that just brought me so much joy during its creation. It was a challenge. There are things in this painting I usually don't tackle. Things I try to stay away from like hands, stripes and foreshortening. It took awhile to get the composition right and Bob was so patient while I took photo after photo. Changing the direction of the light, climbing higher on the ladder so I could see directly into his coffee cup, changing the position of his hands, moving his feet etc etc etc. He is worried that this painting will make him sort after as a model. No phone calls so far hehehe lol! I wanted the viewer to almost become the painting. No that doesn't make sense. I was trying to achieve the view you get when you look down into your own lap (well almost). It invites the viewer to really become part of the painting I think. Does that make more sense or am I off in airy fairy art land that's full of ramblings of a mad woman hehehe? I purposely made Bob put his hand on the painting while I photographed it so you can get the scale of it. Its so disappointing when I paint larger than life and it ends up a small picture on a computer screen. It changes the whole feeling of it somehow.

Coffee and Striped Pyjamas

mixed media on canvas

91x122cm (36"x48")

I hope I still have some blogger friends left after neglecting you all for so long. Hope you all had a lovely Easter that you were able to share with your loved ones.

Kreativity Blogger Award

My dear blogger friend and supporter Suz of http://suz-beginagain.blogspot.com/ has passed on the Kreativity Blogger Award to me. I feel honoured as she is to pass it onto those blogs she enjoys reading. She passed it to me! Me, who doesn't post regularly, is bad at spelling and grammar and only rambles on about ordinary, everyday things. Now in order to accept this honour I am to tell seven interesting things about myself and pass this award onto blogs that I enjoy reading. Mmm seven things. Interesting things mmm. Seven interesting things about me. Well how about I write seven things and you decide whether they are interesting.

1. I migrated from Germany at the age of four with my parents. I was very close with my maternal grandmother and never saw her again. Sad but I call Australia home and can not imagine living anywhere else.

2. At the age of 55 I still love to play. I watch children's programs on tv and still jump in puddles with my gum boots on. I never want to grow up completely and you can't make me, so there :p.

3. I love ordinary everyday objects. They add to our sense of well being and make a house a home. I love them so much that I paint them. I paint them larger than life to lift their status. Ordinary everyday objects have stories to tell. Stories of their connection to home and family. I try to tell my stories with my paintings. Sometimes people hear them and sometimes people hear their own stories. Either way this makes me happy.

4. My mum, daughter and granddaughter are among my best friends.

5. I went to university with my daughter. We both studied art and hung out together. Julia studied visual art and I studied applied art (ceramic and glass design).

6. I would love nothing better than to live in my studio. Literally!!!!! I mean it. I would love to live amongst my art supplies in true warehouse fashion.

7. I can make a clapping sound using only one hand.

Now to the blogs I love to read. Well among them are Suz blog but she nominated me. Then there's Elena's blog but she has also been nominated by Suz. So my nominees are:

Chrissie of http://niminyfingers.blogspot.com/ who makes the most amazing textile based things and makes me laugh with her wonderful sense of humour.

Laura of http://lonecrowart.blogspot.com/ who is a wonderful collage/assemblage artist who shares all her wisdom and takes me on wonderful walks in the woods.

April of http://aprilsart.blogspot.com/ who is so warm and giving that you can feel yourself sink into her warm embrace whenever you read her blog.

Deborah of http://debrossart.blogspot.com/ and http://debrossclay.blogspot.com/ who has such a love of creating that she explores everything and anything fearlessly.

Of course there are other bloggers I enjoy but life is intruding on their blogging time at the moment and so they wouldn't have time to respond. I would just like to take this opportunity to tell you all how much I enjoy our interaction. The friendships I have made through the internet and the support I receive are amazing.

Two Months

I have struggled since Christmas to get back into a proper flow. These down times really scare me. I don't like them and I struggle to free myself of their hold. This time its been a little over two months to get back into the swing of things. But its over for now so I'm just going to enjoy being back in the studio. I have just finished another large(ish) painting. I am still to tackle the huge canvas a bought a couple of weeks ago ..... fear ... but that's another story hehehe.

The Bottles

acrylic on canvas

101.6x76.2cm (40"x30")